Patrick's Rants


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8/10/2007

Man Sues 1-800-Flowers for Ruining His Marriage

Filed under: General,Stupid Ideas — site admin @ 7:24 pm

Man sues 1-800-Flowers for ruining his marriage by revealing affair. Ok. This has got to be one of the stupider stories today. It goes something like this: woman files for divorce, man decides to see someone else and sends her flowers and a teddy bear, man reconciles with estranged wife, estranged wife receives thank you card from 1-800-Flowers, reconciled wife boots his ass to the curb – again.

Here’s where it gets stupid. His estranged wife is now asking for more alimony, more child support, etc. Man sues 1-800-Flowers.

First of all, his wife filed for divorce. She filed for divorce, meaning she didn’t to be married to him anymore. Can she be surprised that he sought the company of another woman? No. If she is, she’s stupid. Men aren’t that nebulous, really.

Second, why in the hell did he give his home address to 1-800-Flowers? If he was getting divorced, he needed his own place. Stupid, times two. IF he was expecting to get back together with his soon-to-be ex-wife, then he should have kept it in his pants. Period. I’ll repeat it for the cheap seats, I know sometimes you can’t hear me up there. If you are separated from your wife and you expect to be getting back together with her, keep it zipped up.

Third, she booted him out and expected him to remain faithful? I mean, she basically said, “you’re outta here” and she’s faulting him for what he did after she said, “see ya”. I hope he has a decent lawyer – then again, he’s suing 1-800-Flowers for a standard business practice.

Fourth, he’s suing 1-800-Flowers for a standard business practice. It goes something like this:

Wife: “What the heck are these charges?”
Flowers: “Yes ma’am, here is the receipt.”

In this day and age of identity theft and credit card fraud it would seem that 1-800-Flowers did the right thing by verifying charges. That’s what I would expect them to do if I questioned a charge.

Wife: “Oh no he dient!”

So. If there is any justice in the world here is what will happen: they end up on Judge Joe Brown, who’ll tell them to TCB – Take Care of Business – and dismiss the case.

Of course, justice is hard to find so he’ll just have to sue himself for negligent stupidity and tie up his assets for the judgment.

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