Patrick's Rants

Design By Humans


How’s This For an Honest Resume?

Filed under: Geek News and Stuff,Jobs — site admin @ 3:44 pm

The below email hit a mailing list that I subscribe to. If you are looking for a developer or looking to train someone to do things the way you do them consider David. He’s in the Phoenix metro area:

Hey, gang

I’m looking for someone who’s willing to save a ton of money by hiring a seasoned senior developer with a degree in math/CS at junior rates for 6 months while I learn something new.

I need some temporary work NOW — or even something that will lead to a perm position. I can do 1099, C2C, or W2 with full bene’s.

I’ve got $100 in my bank account and am behind on all of my bills. I’ve been out of work since late July and unemployment ran out at the end of March. I’m breathing fumes.

The problem is I’ve gotten pigeonholed and can’t even get interviews. I’ve got TONS of GREAT experience, just not the “right combination” of tools and recent experience that anybody is looking for.

(This is the downside of spending too many years doing one thing and working for employers who value that but won’t let you work on anything other than that. I’ve done stuff “on the side” but none of it seems to count because it’s not “on the job” experience.)


I’ve managed Linux servers; written lots of php code that spits out HTML (mostly 4.0); patched WordPress plugins and themes; written protocol drivers and stacks; configured systems and networks, and fixed networking problems that nobody else could figure out; set up lots of web servers and websites from scratch; have experience on cPanel, Plesk, and other control panels; lots of MySQL and other SQL DB experience.

I spent many years doing embedded systems development and machine control stuff. I love it! I’ve got real-time in my blood. (This is particularly beneficial when it comes to designing databases because I naturally tend to cluster data based on temporal coherence, which most database designers ignore. This alone can have a significantly beneficial impact on database performance.)

I’ve written tons of scripts in c-shell, k-shell, and Bourne shell, using most of the common *nix tools like awk, sed, grep, diff, regex, etc. My perl skills aren’t too good, and I’ve got no ruby or python experience. My javascript is so-so, although I see it as mostly just an interpreted variant of ‘c’ (with which I’m fluent); just a little experience with js libraries.

My web skills can be described simply as this: I do back-end stuff — php and SQL, filtering, parsing, the usual data shuffling; not anything that relates to eye-candy. (I’m NOT a graphic artist, don’t know ANY Adobe tools, and have absolutely NO aspirations to go in that direction. There are PLENTY of GREAT graphic designers out there; the world doesn’t need one more. Partner me with someone like that and we’ll kick butt!)


My strengths are software architecture, analysis, design, and development in and around OOP platforms: c/c++ and Delphi (object Pascal). I have some C# and .NET, but not enough to make anybody want me, although I’m happy to learn more. (It’s not a steep learning curve IMO.)

In particular, I’m very good with any kind of design that needs to work at several different levels — not just standalone apps, but apps that need to read databases over the web, do remote updates, distributed applications, real-time filtering and data extraction, and so forth.

I’m a quick learner.

I ran configuration and release management for a couple of years on several comercial projects. After that I worked on an IEEE/ISO standards committee that defined a Guide to Software Configuration Management (IEEE/ISO 1042), and I got experience with every version control tool on the market at that time (late 80’s – early 90’s). Since then, I’ve yet to see a VCS that’s not a variation on one of three basic themes. (I could set up an SCM and release policy for your company or some projects, for example)

I’ve got 2+ years of Agile/SCRUM experience; have managed projects of up to 5 people; have taking ideas from back-of-the-napkin sketches through to production release — on-time and under-budget — and everything in between. No customer support or QA, however. I’d be happy to be a SCRUM-master or Project Manager (or apprentice).

I can read Java but have never written any; again, I’m happy to learn. (There are so few Delphi books around that I have to read Java and C#/.NET books to learn about the latest programming paradigms that apply equally well in Delphi.)

I’ve set up a a few dozen websites that sell stuff online, using several different scripts. They all used PayPal to process payments, but I didn’t write the code for that part. I’ve also worked with a couple of commercial shopping cart scripts; no open source ones, tho.

I’ve got TONS of Wordpess experience, having worked with lots of free and premium plugins and themes. I’m a member of WPMUDEV if it matters. I’ve set up multi-user / networked WP sites, membershp sites, had custom plugins developed, and have tweaked plugins and themes.


I’d love to get into mobile app development, but I don’t have sufficient java or Objective-C experience (although I’m totally willing to learn).

Actually, if you know of anybody who needs mobile apps built from scratch but doesn’t want to pay for two developers (Apple and Android), have them call me — I can deliver both apps from the same source code base (Delphi) at half-price and probably less time than either of the others. (And no, I have not published anything on either the AppStore or the PlayStore yet, but it’s not a big deal from what I can tell.)

Ultimately I’d love to get back into an Architect role — that’s the kind of work I enjoy most. Taking an idea, building a vision around it, then giving it birth.

Obviously, I’m over-qualified for every junior position out there, yet not quite qualified for anything anybody is looking for at the senior level.

I NEED TO LEARN SOMETHING NEW that gets me some “on-the-job experience” so I can get out of this frigging hole I’m in.

Here’s a copy of my resume for anybody who’s interested:

I *REALLY* need to find someone who’s willing to hire a seasoned senior developer at junior rates for 3-6 months while I learn something new.

Surely there’s a start-up or somebody in this city who’ll see this as a screaming deal all the way around!

Thank you for your willingness to help out a fellow traveller!

-David Schwartz

PS: feel free to re-post this on other lists / newsgroups if you think it will help. Thanks!

PS: If you’re a RECRUITER: find someone who’ll interview me FIRST, THEN call me. Out-of-state positions will require relocation assistance.

No Comments

No comments yet.

RSS feed for comments on this post.

Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.