So where was that switch again?
The company I work for part time recently rolled out a revised Emergency Procedures Manual. It has a color coded warning system that looks suspiciously like the one from the Department of Homeland Security.
We have a “hunker down” section in the book. What that essentially means is that we - meaning the management - choose a place to gather all of our customers. In that space we are to have enough food and water for three days. We are also supposed to have duct tape, plastic sheeting for all the coverings, vents etc. In addition we are to lock the doors. So, the space chosen is well… maybe 800~900 square feet. I estimate that when we are full this means 300 people in this small space.
We also have to secure the computers, telephone system and shut down the airconditioning. And last, but not least, “transfer or destroy” confidential information and records. If you can’t take it with you destory it. Well… if the terrorists come I’m just gonna flip the switch that ignites the thermite, burning through the file cabinets into the core of the earth itself finally to land in Satan’s Den kind of like that spicy chicken sandwich from Karl’s Jr. We can’t have the terrorists digging through our confidential information and you can bet that I’m not hanging around to shred all that paperwork. I think I’ll make a sign for our customers, “Your records are safe with us, in case of terrorist attack we will burn your records with a fire so hot even the devil himself would scream in agony.”
Now, where did they put that switch?
