Patrick’s Rants

308 people survived a plane crash in Toronto yesterday. The plane apparently overshot the runway and burst into flames. And only 43 had minor injuries that had to be treated at the local hospital.
Full Story

the 5-in-1 network admin’s cable It’s just geeky.

Like an old turd that floats to the top of the tank, Microsoft has released - in early beta form - Internet Explorer 7. At least one writer/reviewer is urging a boycott of Internet Explorer 7. Instead use the Firefox browser.

Now here’s a replacement for the horn that I could live with. All that’s needed is to crack into the bluetooth wireless system of the car in front of you and tell that driver to get the hell outta the way. Kinda like that old Mr. Microphone commercial where they drive by saying, “Hey babe, we’ll be back to pick you up later.”

The other night when I went into work at the hotel I was told they “saved” me two rooms to sell. Gee thanks.
Of course the phone rings.
“Do you have any rooms?”
“Yes, they are (over $100) tonight. I have two left.”
“Do you have any associate rate rooms?” (hotels offer discounts to associates - how and when they are available depends upon the parent company’s policies and procedures)
“No. Associate rate rooms are closed out tonight.” (and who the hell waits til the last minute, after 11pm, to find an associate rate room?)
“The price is really (over $100)? Can’t you go down to (about $100)”
“Sorry, I don’t have any discount rates available tonight.”
“That’s kind of high.”
“I’ll sell those rooms in the next half hour.” (so I don’t need to discount the rate)
“Well, let me think about it and call you back.”
“OK.” (the whole town is sold out. I know it. you are about to find out)
10 minutes later the rooms are safely sold and occupied. I have nothing left.
The phone rings. I give the standard spiel.
“I called a few minutes ago about the (over $100) rate.”
“I’m sold out.”
“What? That wasn’t half an hour.”
“No. I told it would only take me half an hour to sell the rooms. They’re gone.” (and I knew the town was sold out… but you thought you knew better than me.)
“OK.”

Maybe I should coin a new phrase. In the vein of the true Bastard I now pronounce myself the Bastard Front Desk Clerk From Hell or BFDCDH….

We have a cat. Over the last year or so my wife has tried to make that two. She caught an “alley cat” late last year.. heck it could have been summer. It was a really pretty fluffy cat with baby blue eyes. It could not have been well to start with - it was dead within a week. Just long enough for us to name it. (more…)

You’ve seen them. They’re everywhere. The credit identity theft commercials from Citibank. Don’t you just love those? The lady sitting in the salon under the hair dryer talking with a presumably “male geek” voice about the robot that he is going to build for his prom. Then there is the old lady cleaning her pool while she talks about going to a singles weekend in Mexico. And let us not forget the guy sitting in his recliner with his tie up pants talking about his leather bustier that lifts and separates.
These commercials are in high gear lately. Wonder if they might be trying to get people to forget they lost data from 3.9 million customers.

In an attempt to reduce the ability to counterfeit United States currency we have been presented with…. drum roll please… money that looks like someone spilled ink on it. No maybe that’s Easter egg die… or could it be (gasp) some hidden homoerotic message, a secret handshake of sorts that says “I’m a closet rainbow coalition member” emphasis on the member.
Oh…. wait. I keep forgetting this is a majority Republican rulership. Republicans are straight god fearing christians who never get divorced and only have sex with their own wives, in private - in the missionary position.
Yeah, I have no idea what I was thinking when I wrote that. It’s just an anti-counterfeiting measure.

If you can stand the bandwidth hogging constant loading and reloading of the page there is a story on Faux Sports (combined with my other favorite msn) telling us that after all his protestations - including finger jabbing for exclamation - Rafael Palmeiro is suspended for steriod use. Did he do it while on George W. Bush’s Texas Rangers? Probably not… the Rangers pretty much sucked canal water, much like all of Dubya’s “business” ventures. Of course Dubya believes him when he says he “accidentally” ingested steroids. Yeah and Clinton never inhaled.
Perhaps the best quote of the article:

Palmeiro also expressed indignation over accusations made by former slugger Jose Canseco, who cited Palmeiro as a steroid user in his tell-all book. In an interview on the CBS television show “60 Minutes,” Canseco - who also testified before Congress - said he had injected Palmeiro with steroids.

So he took a suppliment that had Canseco hiding inside with a syringe and it was accidentally ingested that way?
Come on someone’s lying here.

That fine upstanding patriotic citizen, John Bolton, has been appointed to be UN Ambassador. John Bolton was so great that we could not even agree to let there be a vote on his appointment. In case you don’t “Bushspeak” I will translate the following statements:

“This post is too important to leave vacant any longer, especially during a war and a vital debate about U.N. reform,” Bush said from the Roosevelt Room at the White House. ¹

<translate>We have bullied the UN from outside, started a war that we cannot possibly win and we want to tell the United Nations to go screw themselves because they didn’t agree to let us go to war in the first place. After all, if the UN had not delayed our entry into Iraq, we would be done by now. </translate>
(more…)