Patrick’s Rants

On the little silver Hyundai Accent:

Yeah, it’s got a hemi

The Viagra commercial starts out with the guy peering around his wife’s rear end to watch baseball and she has “the look”.

Sorry buddy, but if you are that much into sports, a drug isn’t going to help you. I mean, this is a studly looking guy and a pretty hot looking woman. If she doesn’t get you going, keep watching that outfielder - you’re already dead and the only wood you’re interesting in is in someone else’s hands.

So, I’ve just had a bottle of Charles Shaw Savignon Blanc - and I can still type, mostly. It’s amazing what one thinks about when a full bottle of wine is coursing through your veins. I know that typing is a termendous chore, but somehow my mind is drawn to a night some 15 years ago and putting it into bits seems appropriate. My now ex-wife and I were at a club called Cafe Iguana. If I remember right we knew a guy who knew a guy and we didn’t have to pay the cover charge. I normally don’t dance since I’m “terminally white” so at the bar I sat.

The ex was dancing with whoever would dance with her and I drank beer by the 32 oz. mug. I was content drinking my draft something, only giving up my seat when the ex would take a break from dancing and I would make her hold my seat so I could float to the bathroom to get rid of some of that used beer. I don’t remember if we went once or twice to the Iguana but this time, there was a cute English “chick” who claimed that her friends told her they knew me. To prove it, they told her my name was (something I don’t remember, it was 15 freaking years ago) and we ended up chatting. I remember that she had a nose piercing which normally bugged me - I don’t remember if she smoked or not, another of my turnoffs, but it was a club in the time before smoking bans… and I had close to 100 oz of tap beer in me. I didn’t care. We ended up chatting yelling at each other over the music. I’m not sure how or why but we ended up kissing. I think it was a good kiss, but I was drunk and one never knows - I didn’t get a phone number to check up later. That would have been rude, what with my (ex)wife out dancing with other men and all.

Funny thing about that night, there was a “couple” who wanted me to buy them a drink. I’m a cheap somebich though, so I only bought for me. Wonder what would/could have happened if I did. Even funnier, when I left the club holding hands with my ex, that “couple” did a double take - I’m sure they saw me kissing the cute English girl.

A whole bottle… good thing it’s only $3 a bottle at Trader Joe’s.

I’ve come to realize that I have a “work wife” ¹. I wasn’t looking for one, but on the Today Show, they talked about the concept of the “work spouse”. This is someone that you talk to and even spend more time with that one’s own spouse. It might even involve severe flirtation, but in the end it’s completely platonic - especially when your spouse knows about the work spouse. Funny this is, even if she were interested in me I could not see myself with her in that way.

Which, of course brings me to the real topic of this post. The other night my wife was visiting her ill grandmother in Phoenix and I had a trip that was scheduled to end fairly early on Saturday. I decided that I might be hungry when I was done with work and suggest to the WS that we “do something” when I got back from the trip. The something that I had in mind was dinner. My WS thought that a movie might even be in the cards - something that I knew would get me into trouble even if nothing happened. though nothing would ever happen.

She made several boisterous comments about dinner, even going as far as to sing “Call me” in front of other co-workers. I even heard from another “loud mouth” co-worker who asked me how the weekend went asking if I had gone to a movie or what I had done over the weekend. Of course that makes me wonder what else WS has relayed to others.

It is because of this that I’m glad I haven’t shared all my completely heart wrenching life stories. So is she really my work wife if I don’t tell her everything and if I carefully walk the line with my real wife? I carefully chose not to do the things that would have made my wife jealous; I had an uneasy feeling about them to begin with, but the WS chose to spread the “it might happen” rumor anyway. I wonder where that leaves me…

http://men.style.com/gq/features/full?id=content_403

I worked at H&R Block for five years and learned so many things about corporate structure. I saw the Peter Principle in action before I knew what it was. Only I saw it from the bottom; take someone good at taxes and promote them to office manager or some other job that doesn’t directly deal with clients.

The biggest thing that I learned though had nothing to do with taxes. Maureen was one of my best teachers. A flamboyant “older” woman who worked in the back office hardly interacting with the clients at all, she brought hot home made corn bread in on St. Patrick’s day, dragged others into her parade around the offices and was damned good at her job. Which, I guess, is why they put up with her bucking the corporate mandates¹.
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It’s your hell….
you burn in it.

We should not be attacking Iran under this pretense. The 9/11 Commission Report does indicate that Iran has some complicity in the training of Al Qaeda members, but no one has focused on that. Instead we attacked Iraq without provocation, without valid proof to support the claims of weapons of mass destruction destroying our credibility around the world. If we attack Iran under the same false pretenses then we can not condemn the retaliation that is sure to occur.
No Attack On Iran

Vote Republican
It’s Less Taxing

Funny how the largest budget surplus in US History was built by a Democrat and spent by a Republican. Sure it’s less taxing if you are wealthy today but look at what we’re leaving our children. It reminds of the saying,

Earth first. We’ll log and mine the rest of the planets later

Rolling Stone has a jaw dropping story looking back at the 2004 presidential elections. : Was the 2004 Election Stolen?

Sad to say that it doesn’t look like it’s getting better any time soon. With voting machines that provide no paper trail and are completely “corruptible” don’t expect another fair election again. If the ballot box doesn’t work anymore expect the ammo box to make an appearance. That’s what real patriots do.

These were other kinds of stickers seen lately on cars and trucks.
On the back of a semi trailer:

Warning: Turn signals are not a request

On the back of a Mini Cooper:

Actual Size