Patrick's Rants

This is the shirt I where when I don’t care

As seen on “Cops”

Everyone has the right to be an idiot
But you are abusing the privilege

Of course the author uses two different concepts, rights and privileges which diminishes the humor for those who are sticklers on rights vs. privileges.

Will trade wife for beer

I’m not a gynecologist
But I’ll take a look

A Washington Post columnist runs a column each summer
listing interesting T-shirts observed at the Ocean
City, Maryland beach.

1. I child proofed my house, but they still get in.

2. (On the front) 60 is not old. (On the back) If
you’re a tree.

3. I’m still hot… It just comes in flashes.

4. At my age, “getting lucky” means finding my car in
the parking lot.

5. My reality check just bounced.

6. Life is short. Make fun of it.

7. I’m not 50. I’m $49.95 plus tax.

8. Annapolis–a drinking town with a sailor problem.

9. I need somebody bad… Are you bad?

10. Physically Pffffft!

11. Buckle up. It makes it harder for the aliens to
snatch you from your car.

12. I’m not a snob. I’m just better than you are.

13. It’s my cat’s world. I’m just here to open cans.

14. Earth is the insane asylum of the universe.

15. Keep staring….I may do a trick.

16. We got rid of the kids. The cat was allergic.

17. Dangerously under-medicated.

18. My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash
and it’s gone.

19. Every time I hear the dirty word “exercise,” I
wash my mouth out with chocolate.

20. Cats regard people as warm-blooded furniture.

21. Live your life so that when you die, the preacher
will not have to tell lies at your funeral.

22. In god we trust. All others we polygraph.

You can’t see me

The shirt was camouflage

Good Girls Go to Heaven
Bad Girls go to
Amsterdam

She was flying to Ft Lauderdale… dunno what that says

Let me just drop everything and work on your problem

By reading this shirt you have temporarily given me control of your mind.

And I guess that is pretty true.

Conserve fuel, stop driving by my house.