Patrick's Rants


How’s This For an Honest Resume?

Filed under: Geek News and Stuff,Jobs — site admin @ 3:44 pm

The below email hit a mailing list that I subscribe to. If you are looking for a developer or looking to train someone to do things the way you do them consider David. He’s in the Phoenix metro area:

Hey, gang

I’m looking for someone who’s willing to save a ton of money by hiring a seasoned senior developer with a degree in math/CS at junior rates for 6 months while I learn something new.

I need some temporary work NOW — or even something that will lead to a perm position. I can do 1099, C2C, or W2 with full bene’s.

I’ve got $100 in my bank account and am behind on all of my bills. I’ve been out of work since late July and unemployment ran out at the end of March. I’m breathing fumes.

The problem is I’ve gotten pigeonholed and can’t even get interviews. I’ve got TONS of GREAT experience, just not the “right combination” of tools and recent experience that anybody is looking for.

(This is the downside of spending too many years doing one thing and working for employers who value that but won’t let you work on anything other than that. I’ve done stuff “on the side” but none of it seems to count because it’s not “on the job” experience.)


I’ve managed Linux servers; written lots of php code that spits out HTML (mostly 4.0); patched WordPress plugins and themes; written protocol drivers and stacks; configured systems and networks, and fixed networking problems that nobody else could figure out; set up lots of web servers and websites from scratch; have experience on cPanel, Plesk, and other control panels; lots of MySQL and other SQL DB experience.

I spent many years doing embedded systems development and machine control stuff. I love it! I’ve got real-time in my blood. (This is particularly beneficial when it comes to designing databases because I naturally tend to cluster data based on temporal coherence, which most database designers ignore. This alone can have a significantly beneficial impact on database performance.)

I’ve written tons of scripts in c-shell, k-shell, and Bourne shell, using most of the common *nix tools like awk, sed, grep, diff, regex, etc. My perl skills aren’t too good, and I’ve got no ruby or python experience. My javascript is so-so, although I see it as mostly just an interpreted variant of ‘c’ (with which I’m fluent); just a little experience with js libraries.

My web skills can be described simply as this: I do back-end stuff — php and SQL, filtering, parsing, the usual data shuffling; not anything that relates to eye-candy. (I’m NOT a graphic artist, don’t know ANY Adobe tools, and have absolutely NO aspirations to go in that direction. There are PLENTY of GREAT graphic designers out there; the world doesn’t need one more. Partner me with someone like that and we’ll kick butt!)


My strengths are software architecture, analysis, design, and development in and around OOP platforms: c/c++ and Delphi (object Pascal). I have some C# and .NET, but not enough to make anybody want me, although I’m happy to learn more. (It’s not a steep learning curve IMO.)

In particular, I’m very good with any kind of design that needs to work at several different levels — not just standalone apps, but apps that need to read databases over the web, do remote updates, distributed applications, real-time filtering and data extraction, and so forth.

I’m a quick learner.

I ran configuration and release management for a couple of years on several comercial projects. After that I worked on an IEEE/ISO standards committee that defined a Guide to Software Configuration Management (IEEE/ISO 1042), and I got experience with every version control tool on the market at that time (late 80’s – early 90’s). Since then, I’ve yet to see a VCS that’s not a variation on one of three basic themes. (I could set up an SCM and release policy for your company or some projects, for example)

I’ve got 2+ years of Agile/SCRUM experience; have managed projects of up to 5 people; have taking ideas from back-of-the-napkin sketches through to production release — on-time and under-budget — and everything in between. No customer support or QA, however. I’d be happy to be a SCRUM-master or Project Manager (or apprentice).

I can read Java but have never written any; again, I’m happy to learn. (There are so few Delphi books around that I have to read Java and C#/.NET books to learn about the latest programming paradigms that apply equally well in Delphi.)

I’ve set up a a few dozen websites that sell stuff online, using several different scripts. They all used PayPal to process payments, but I didn’t write the code for that part. I’ve also worked with a couple of commercial shopping cart scripts; no open source ones, tho.

I’ve got TONS of Wordpess experience, having worked with lots of free and premium plugins and themes. I’m a member of WPMUDEV if it matters. I’ve set up multi-user / networked WP sites, membershp sites, had custom plugins developed, and have tweaked plugins and themes.


I’d love to get into mobile app development, but I don’t have sufficient java or Objective-C experience (although I’m totally willing to learn).

Actually, if you know of anybody who needs mobile apps built from scratch but doesn’t want to pay for two developers (Apple and Android), have them call me — I can deliver both apps from the same source code base (Delphi) at half-price and probably less time than either of the others. (And no, I have not published anything on either the AppStore or the PlayStore yet, but it’s not a big deal from what I can tell.)

Ultimately I’d love to get back into an Architect role — that’s the kind of work I enjoy most. Taking an idea, building a vision around it, then giving it birth.

Obviously, I’m over-qualified for every junior position out there, yet not quite qualified for anything anybody is looking for at the senior level.

I NEED TO LEARN SOMETHING NEW that gets me some “on-the-job experience” so I can get out of this frigging hole I’m in.

Here’s a copy of my resume for anybody who’s interested:

I *REALLY* need to find someone who’s willing to hire a seasoned senior developer at junior rates for 3-6 months while I learn something new.

Surely there’s a start-up or somebody in this city who’ll see this as a screaming deal all the way around!

Thank you for your willingness to help out a fellow traveller!

-David Schwartz

PS: feel free to re-post this on other lists / newsgroups if you think it will help. Thanks!

PS: If you’re a RECRUITER: find someone who’ll interview me FIRST, THEN call me. Out-of-state positions will require relocation assistance.


Information Technology Manager

Filed under: Geek News and Stuff,Jobs — site admin @ 9:02 am

If you are in the market for a new job, the Sedona Public Library is looking for a replacement for their Information Technology Manager. What I know of the setup is that it’s a very interesting layout as far as technology goes with an emphasis on what I can only call ‘extreme redundancy’

ITM Job description(pdf)

Anyone interested should contact the Library Director:

David Keeber, MLS
Library Director
Sedona Public Library
3250 White Bear Road
Sedona, AZ 86336
928.282.5789 FAX
add the @ below:


More USGS Jobs

Filed under: Geek News and Stuff,Jobs — site admin @ 12:11 pm

Hi Folks,

We have two software development positions open on our team – the one I announced a couple weeks ago has had its closing date extended, so both position announcements will close no later than May 7th. The positions are titled “IT Specialist (APPSW)” (which translates to “software developer”) and “Computer Scientist” (which is a software developer who has an educational background with a lot of math and computer science courses).

The Computer Scientist position starts at a grade 7 – if you are a Computer Science student (or possible Math major with CS minor) who graduates soon or have just graduated *and* have a pretty good GPA (3.0 or higher), you will probably qualify for this position and we encourage you to apply.

The IT Specialist position starts at a grade 9. It does not have the same educational requirement, but does require experience. If you feel you qualify for *both* positions, please apply to both!!!

If you need assistance figuring out which position and grade to apply for, please refer to the contact info at the bottom of this e-mail (and the official job announcements have links to the official documentation). Links to the applications are also near the bottom of the e-mail.

The positions are posted on the USGS Online Automated Recruitment System:



Interested in Living and Working In Flagstaff?

Filed under: Geek News and Stuff,Jobs — site admin @ 12:41 pm

Some of the following information is not yet publicly available. Forwarded by a colleague:

We have a position for a computer programmer being advertised (see additional information below). This is one of two positions that will be advertised – we expect the other position to be posted under the title “Computer Scientist” in the next week or so, so keep your eyes on

The position is with the USGS Astrogeology Research Program in Flagstaff. We have some info about the benefits of working for Astrogeology on our site For more info about our program and some of the space missions and projects we’re involved in, visit our website – a good place to start is the About Us section Programmers typically work on our Isis image processing software – more info about that package is at

Announcement Number: WR-2007-0324
Vacancy Description: IT Specialist (APPSW), GS-2210-9/11/12 (KP-DEU)
Open Period: 04/03/2007 – 04/17/2007
Series/Grade: GS-2210A-09/11/12
Salary: $50,471.00 TO $82,709.00
Promotion Potential: GS-12

For more information, Contact: Karen Perez, 916-278-9389,

More info and apply online:

Position description:
This position is with the U.S. Geological Survey, Western Region,
Geologic Discipline, Astrogeology Team located in Flagstaff,
Arizona. Major duties include but are not limited to: Designs,
develops, tests, and implements software programs for use in digital
image processing of planetary and terrestrial remote sensing data or
to provide efficient search and access to data products. Maintains
existing applications software by designing, coding, documenting,
testing, and debugging programs. Prepares proposals and progress
reports to customers.

Lower grade levels perform a wide range of tasks described in the
above listing of duties and responsibilities. At the lower level,
the employee will be assigned work designed to further develop and
refine their knowledge and skills. Assignments will typically
combine productive work with on-going training and instruction.
Supervision received at the lower level will be closer with
oversight and review being provided more frequently.

At the higher levels, incumbent will often act as a team leader,
directing the work of other team members and coordinating and
supporting team efforts.

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